19th
Praying with Lior
I recently saw a film of such power and grace I have not been able to stop telling people about it. “Praying With Lior” is a beautiful, rather simply made, documentary by Ilana Trachtman that shows Lior Liebling preparing for his Bar Mitzvah. In many ways, Lior is typical of any teenage boy marking this kind of transition: he travels with his father to the mall to buy a new tie and pair of shoes, his father and step-mother agonize over the invitation list while he plays outside, his little sister complains about being neglected in the midst of the attention Lior is getting, he is nervous about making a speech and he has a cute crush on a family friend his age. In the most heart-wrenching scene of the movie, Lior and his father visit Lior’s mother’s grave and he struggles with the meaning of her death, and to remember her years after her death.
Lior is also different. First of all – and most obviously – he lives with Down’s syndome. Secondly, he is also very passionate about praying (in Hebrew, “davening”.) It is the intersection of these two special aspects of Lior’s life that are brought to the fore in this film. It is because of these two special aspects of Lior’s life that he and his Bar Mitzvah are celebrated with so much significance within the orthodox synagogue he and his family belong to. At one point in the movie, a congregation member remarks that though Lior’s Bar Mitzvah is important to Lior, in a bigger way, “It’s for us.”
Lior’s Hebrew School principal, Bessie Katz, offers one of many comments about how impressive Lior’s prayers and presence are: “When you see Lior daven, you say to yourself, I only wish I could daven like that. When you see Lior give a smile you know that it’s with his entire heart… and that’s the beauty of Lior.” His older brother Yoni is also impressed by Lior’s devotion and says, “If there is a God, God definitely listens to Lior pray.”
Lior’s spirit in prayer and worship was infectious, even as I saw it on film. His words were not always in the right place and his singing was not always on key, but he prayed the psalms, sang the songs and danced the rhythms in a way that deepened the prayers of the others around him. When Lior’s Bar Mitzvah finally comes it is a celebration of great joy for him, for his family, for his synagogue and for the audience in the theater. Even though I did not know all the Hebrew words, or the Jewish songs; and even though I was watching this in a New York City movie theater, I truly felt like I was “Praying with Lior.”
One of the stated goals of the film is to encourage communities of faith to be more inclusive of persons with disabilities. As they state it on their website www.prayingwithlior.com:
Over 54 million Americans are disabled. Less than half of our houses of worship are handicapped accessible. This number alone speaks to the abandonment of the disabled in faith communities.
In a society that literally “worships” perfection and same-ness, individuals with physical and cognitive disabilities are dismissed and discriminated against everywhere. In the place where they should receive the most welcome and derive the most comfort — their faith communities — parents of children with special needs often hear “your child shouldn’t be here.”
Each person, and each community, deserve the opportunity to spiritually connect, grow, and shine to the highest rung of their potential. We believe that this is most possible when our communities are truly whole, that is, open to everyone.
Lior’s contribution to his synagogue is uniquely his own, and shines through his differentness. More than being a tribute to his community of faith for their inclusiveness, the film shows that the community is stronger and positively different because Lior was fully included.
As a congregation and community we need to be challenged to look at who is left out because of a disability. We need to look to ways that would fully include those different from us in our praying, learning, serving and fellowship. This is our way of living into our promise of open hearts, minds and doors. We may be surprised by how those who have different levels of ability that ourselves really challenge and change us.
PS- The film, “Praying with Lior” will be showing in Pleasantville on April 3rd and 6th, let me know if you’d like to attend because it will likely sell-out quickly.
